all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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