Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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