Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
