The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
