Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize