I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
