I love black thongs
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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