Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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