So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
