You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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