Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
