u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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