North Korea, Best Korea!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize