I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
