My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
