we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dear god my vagina.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
