i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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