You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
