do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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