I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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