??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
