He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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