This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize