Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
