just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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