I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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