My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize