Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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