ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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