FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
