He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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