in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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