How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
