so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
