Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
