We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
