I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize