Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
