Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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