Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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