The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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