i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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