i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize