I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
