What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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