I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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