Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
