i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
