He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
