Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
