i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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