i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
