He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She needs sedatives and a leash
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
