She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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