I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
