how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
