So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize