I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
