Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
