areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
