Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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