ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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