i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
